Tuesday, December 27, 2005

Happy Holidays!!! :P

Hmmm. This blog may not make much sense to you, i just want to write random thoughts and feelings, knowing that whatever/whoever i write about, no one will know or really care. hahaha well not really but anyways. it's just so weird. you know that feeling that you just want to talk to someone and hang out and i dunno. na wala lang. ang saya kasi. nakakatuwa. hahahahahaha. ang labo ko talaga. but anyway. this is such a weird feeling. i'm excited about this weekend, i'm kinikilig about random stuff, and i'm feeling so whatever i can't seem to collect my thoughts and write an entry that makes sense. anyway.

i had chinese food the other week with my brother, and i had a fortune cookie. my fortune said that the future holds a gift of contentment. it's interesting how that's slowly coming true. maybe it's psychological, i wouldn't really know. bottom line, it's slowly coming true. and it's such a nice feeling.

it's funny how you think you know yourself and then boom. something unexpected happens. something totally random and different but certainly not unwelcome. wala lang. interesting. anyway. hahahahahahaha. :P saya.

this is probably the most senseless and malabo entry ever.

......

so 2005 is finally ending. it's like a... a... i can't seem to find the right word. landmark? whatever. it's a pretty special year for me. i don't want to be corny and talk about how much i've changed, so i'll just talk about the things that changed me. in chronological order.

it was my first plane ride alone. when i arrived in manila last january 10 (i spent christmas here in SF) i had so many plans. for me and my ex, for grad, for my birthday, for my last summer before i started working. it was then i realized that i was really gonna move in a few months and that like it or not, i was gonna leave everything behind.

unfortunately upon arriving i was met by a halfhearted boyfriend who apparently changed his mind about things. as trivial as it may seem, the breakup was a huge part of this year. now, i'm not one to rehash the drama, but let's just say the breakup forced me to grow and see things as is. oh yeah, i'm still pretty idealistic and when it comes to guys, and i still can't tell the difference between sincerity and bullsh*t. sometimes. but in the long run breaking up (or him breaking up with me, whatever.) was the best thing that happened to me this year. it's sad we're not really friends anymore, coz for such a looooong time, he was my bestfriend, blah blah blah. and it's sad how i lost some "friends" in the process, but oh well. we're both happy now, and that's what's important.

and then there was my birthday. as uneventful as it was, it was just athlete's night and dinner out with my friends, it proved to be incredibly important upon arriving here. more on that later.
and then there was bora, which for me was the turning point for... a bunch of people. let's just say i got incredibly super drunk and did some things that ultimately paved the way for some realizations. it was fun nonetheless, and i'm soooo looking forward to going back this march/april.

and then there was the move. the three months of bumming/job hunting/freelancing/gaining weight. and in those three months i learned how to commute by myself, how to job hunt without the connections i had back home (hey everyone has connections back home okay) how to drive (again), how to survive without any friends, how to start my new life here. starting over is always hard, wherever you are or whatever it may be. and it definitely wasn't easy. but hey. i look at it as an accomplishment. i have a good job, i've made lots of new friends (and got in touch with old ones), i bought my own car, i'm financially stable, and slowly, i'm making it on my own. everyone deserves a pat on the back every now and then, and this is my pat on the back. i'm even gonna invest in stocks. isn't that so cool? hahahahaha. and it doesn't hurt that i'm 21 and very legal. otherwise my stay here wouldn't be half as fun. :P

but of course although the hard part is over, i still have a lot to learn and yet achieve. and acquire. hehehehehe. so some things i'm dreaming about:

• the 15 inch PowerBook
• a rain coat
• speakers for my iPod
• income tax return
• my own place

i figure by May i would've saved up enough to finally be on my own, but you can never tell. i hate how whenever i go out, i always see something i need. like a good coat or a nice pair of boots. hay priorities priorities. shopping or to be independent? (shopping!!!) time will tell. but anyhow. i like this year. this was a year for change. for starting over. and now that i've started, i just have to keep the ball rolling. not downhill i hope. i'm crossing my fingers.

so here's to 2005... and to the upcoming year ahead. i can't wait to go home, i can't wait to see my friends, i can't wait to get into so many other things here. yay.

happy holidays everyone, and have a wonderful amazing and awesome new year. don't forget to be with someone special when the clock strikes 12! *MWAH*

eL's thoughts @ 8:59 PM
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