Sunday, May 15, 2005

The product of boredom.

Yes. I’m all alone. I have a 5 hour waiting period before my flight to San Francisco and I have nothing to do but play games on the laptop and read the two books I brought in my carry-on. I’m bored out of my mind. My head hurts, probably from playing Russian squares and I kinda want to eat, but it’s so far away and I don’t want to push my cart anymore. Traveling alone is exciting in an independent kind of way, but it sucks if you wanna go around, like go to the bathroom or go buy food. I actually went inside the bathroom a while ago and brought my cart with me, carry-on, laptop and all. Maybe it’s just me, but I think I looked pretty funny trying to get my cart inside. The airport in Singapore is really nice, clean and everything and it sort of reminds me of the one in San Francisco, but the one in the states is still better. Singapore Airlines is pretty cool too, like what lee and gabs said, they DO have that game pad kinda thing and I was playing Super Mario World in the plane, after watching Spanglish. The movies they’re showing are pretty cool actually, movies I haven’t seen that I really want to watch, like Phantom, Hide and Seek, White Noise, Elektra, etc. I wonder what they’ll show later and I wonder what I’ll be having for dinner. Anyway, waiting around has its perks, I get to see all sorts of people pass by and their accents are so interesting, I’m having fun trying to figure out what country they’re from. And I’ve also seen lots of cute guys (hehe) but they were all Caucasian, and that’s really not my type. It must be such fun traveling with your friends… I remember when I went to bora with cathy, it was fun but it wasn’t really challenging or anything because we were just in the Philipines, and so what if you missed your flight right? But if you travel to another country with your friends, wala lang, saya.

Somehow I’ve sort of realized that yes, Eleanor, you will now start a whole new life in the states, but somehow I can’t stop feeling like this is just going to be a really long vacation for me. I’m excited to work in the states, to meet new people and to go to different places; basically I’m excited to be independent and everything, but somehow it seems so surreal and I dunno. I don’t think I’m making much sense again, but anyway. Forgive me, I’ve been alone with my thoughts since this morning.

To all those who texted me, I’m sorry for not replying, because for one, I didn’t have load anymore and for another, I was pretty busy fixing things. Up til now I’m still worried I left something at home, and I don’t have a lianne or a nikki I can call up to bring the things I left at home. But seriously, there are no goodbyes for me. As nikki D. told me, farewells are necessary before meeting again, and that’s the way I’d like to look at things. I’m saying goodbye to everyone for now, because I know that one way or another, I’ll be seeing you all again. As a friend of mine said, ayoko magsalita nang tapos, because with all honesty you never really know where you’ll end up, what you’ll be or who you’ll be with.

For the past few weeks I’ve been seeing the people I’ll miss the most… and grabe, you can’t imagine how I’ll miss everyone who’s touched my life one way or another. But if you’re thinking that I cried when I said goodbye to my friends, you are mistaken. Me? Cry? Elweezy? No way. I didn’t cry. Not because I wasn’t sad, but because I knew that once I started crying I wouldn’t stop…

Okay enough about that. I finally bought the boots I wanted!!! Yahoo… I’m actually wearing it now; it sort of makes me feel older, haha! Maybe it’s because the heels are pretty high, or maybe because I dunno… people who wear boots look more mature? Haha. I don’t know. Basta. Yun.

Okay I just spent the last 15 minutes or so typing all that and I still have 2 hours before I can board the plane. So last night I was with sina Katie, Lee and Nikki boo and we started wondering where we’d be a year from now. It started when I said that life now is so uncertain; last year I knew that okay, by this time next year I’ll be an Ateneo grad, going to bora having fun, and maybe I’ll finally go to the states. But now I don’t know. I don’t know what I’ll be doing a year from now so I decided to exercise my imagination to see where I’ll be a year from now.

-My friend who moved to the states last year now has his own place and his own car. So maybe by next year so will I!
-I plan to look for theater groups in the states so maybe I’ll be a part of some really fun musical next year… then all of you can come and watch!
-Cathy might go to LA next year, so maybe I’ll move to LA and we’ll be flatmates!
-Hey, I might meet some rich and handsome dude who wants to marry me, so I might be engaged next year! (But I don’t think so, coz I really wanna marry when I’m in my mid-late 20’s.)
-I might be the next American Idol! Haha!!!
-You might see me in the Amazing Race!
-(Or elimidate, change of heart, or 5th wheel. Hahahahahaha! That is SO NOT gonna happen.)
-I might find this awesome jazzyish band in need of a vocalist so I might be part of a band!
-Or I can still be a bum a year from now. Hope not though!

eL's thoughts @ 5:00 AM
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